Look ma, no wires

I picked up a wireless router for home this week. My idea was to put a wireless network card into J's computer so that she could access the internet from her own computer instead of using mine at the same time that I want to use mine, and that we would therefore have one less topic to argue over. A side effect of having a wireless router in the house would be that I could access email and internet from my LifeDrive device using its built-in WiFi feature.

Although I did manage to get the wireless hooked up and configured so that I could access the internet from my own PC and from my LifeDrive, I have not yet been able to get it working from J's computer. Kind of ironic, since that was the original purpose of setting up a wireless network at home.

However, I can now send and receive email when I'm in the washroom - this has got to be the hallmark of technological sophistication.

Mixing The Great Escape

I had a session at the studio last week, working on the instrumental version of The Great Escape. We recovered the tracks from the digital audio tapes (ADATs) of my original recording, which was around February 2001. Back then we were still using ADAT but since then we have switched over to non-linear editing. That's a fancy way of saying we do it on a computer. After importing the tracks from tape we built up some percussion tracks and then added a a few guitar tracks that follow the melody.

I had another session today - we mixed the tracks we recorded last week along with the tracks from the original recording. It occurred to me that with all the tracks we've recorded, we could do an alternate mix that would emphasize different combinations of the guitar tracks. That will take another session though.

I like the way the mix sounds now - I think it's an interesting sonic landscape. I'll want to get it mastered before I'm ready to submit it to GarageBand.com. Mastering will involve harmonically balancing the frequencies, and will also cause the song to have the same apparent volume and mix when played on different types of audio systems. Mastering will take another session too, but I think it will be worth it.

So it looks like I'll need another session or two before I'm ready to post this song.

Reading at the Feast of Good Cheer

Every so often, some friends of mine throw a get-together that we call Feast of Good Cheer. It's an evening of good friends and good food. Originally we started off having these events once a month but the frequency has fallen off a bit as our lives have demanded some adjustments from us.

We had a Feast this past weekend. I took advantage of this event to present a reading of selected scenes from Mission: Dawn to my friends. I read some of my favourite character scenes - scenes about the relationship between Arjay and Linda, and scenes about interactions and reactions to the new ship's doctor.

I was a bit nervous because this was my first time reading this material in front of an audience. It was well received though. I received some nice comments about it - particularly that they liked the dialogue, and that it was easy to listen to. I felt encouraged by the comments I received.

Bonanza

I remember when I was a boy, my dad used to watch a television series called Bonanza. I don't remember any of the episodes - I just remember the distinctive theme song and the famous burning map - but I wasn't otherwise too interested in the show.

Last year it occurred to get my dad a Bonanza DVD set for Christmas. I thought it might spark some nostalgia with him. He didn't take to watching the DVD's though - it's too newfangled for him and he doesn't take to new technology very well.

This year when I was doing some Christmas shopping with J, I saw a couple more volumes of Bonanza DVD's, so this time I picked up a set for myself. I've watched a few episodes with J and I must say I'm becoming hooked on the series. I enjoy the writing and the characters.

The special effects look dated - not that there are a lot of special effects in this show. The gunshots look totally fake and hokey by today's standards. A death scene consists of the sound effect of a gunshot followed by a scene of the victim clutching his chest and falling to the ground. Despite the fact that it looks really hokey I find it a refreshing variation from all the explicit blood and gore that we see in modern day shows.

I wasn't too interested in the show when I was a boy but I'm hooked on it now.

Holding back vs taking action

My Palm-less days are over. I finally picked up a new Palm device, the LifeDrive. The technology I was used to in my old Palm m500 handheld has been updated so I'll have to get used to a new way of doing things.

* * *

Over the years I've had various people who know me say to me that I tend to hold back. I think even one of the reviews I got for Yesterday Seems So Far Away on GarageBand.com said a similar thing. It must be true - I've got some creative projects I'd like to undertake and complete but I'm just not doing anything with them.

Last weekend I decided to write a list of the creative projects where I'm holding back from implementing them. I ended up with a list of eleven items, and that includes doing the instrumental version of The Great Escape.

Having an idea is one thing but acting on it is another. So I've taken some action - I have found the ADATs - digital audio tapes - on which I recorded the original version of The Great Escape, and I've booked a studio session for the 20th to work on the new version.

Appreciation exercise

J and I did an exercise last night about what we appreciate about each other. It was a really great exercise; it felt like it reconnected us with our positive feelings for each other in a time when we have been dealing with quite a bit of emotional crap.

Some of the things I appreciate about J:

• She is somebody I can have fun with
• I appreciate that she initiated this appreciation exercise
• I appreciate her generosity of spirit
• We dance well together
• She is putting some effort into trying to find me a discount on a LifeDrive device through her corporate account
• I appreciate when we take time out to watch a movie or TV together
• She inspires me to take better care of things, (I can be rough with them and they wear out or break down faster)
• Her tidiness and organization
• I appreciate that we have adopted a cat together and have given him a good home
• She is doing an excellent job managing one of my rental properties
• I appreciate having her and her mom as an audience for when I make my home movies
• I appreciate that she likes listening to Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Some of the things J appreciates about me:

• My willingness to have her mother live with us
• Being a good uncle; I enjoy her nieces and nephews
• She appreciates me taking her out for dinners
• She appreciates me sharing housework
• She appreciates me driving her around
• She appreciates my support in her projects - like home renovations
• She appreciates me taking her on vacations/holidays
• She appreciates my help in mowing the lawn
• She appreciates my help in shovelling the snow
• She appreciates that I am into technology, like computers, digital photos, movie maker
• She appreciates that I pick up her mother when she is not able to
• She appreciates that her mother can also count on me
• She appreciates that I am faithful
• She appreciates that I am honest
• She appreciates that I take care of her and love her

My palm pilot died

My palm pilot died on me last week. It was a horrible crash. It just went into an endless cycle of fatal exceptions, even after doing a hard reset. I've had this device for, I don't know, maybe three years. I wrote most of the scenes for Mission: Dawn using this little machine. I would carry it with me everywhere I went, and I feel unorganized without it. What if I get a killer idea when I'm in the washroom and I have nowhere to write it down? I have to rely on my own memory now to keep track of my appointments. This is no good. I have been without a functioning palm pilot for over a week now and this just won't do. It has got to stop.

Palm has a new device called a LifeDrive. It's not a PDA (personal digital assistant), it's a mobile manager. What does that mean? I think it means it costs more and is slightly bigger than a PDA. It has a feature I want though, a built in voice memo recorder. That's for taking voice notes when I get my killer ideas while I'm driving in my car. I've been to Grand & Toy and I've been to The Source but have not yet seen a demo model. I went to Best Buy - they said their demo model was stolen. Stolen? I thought they had those things tied down with a steel cable and bolted to the display desk!

Planning my Great Escape

I've given some thought to what I want to do next with my song, The Great Escape. J has suggested that I post a version in which I've re-recorded the vocals. I've decided not to do that, and instead to stay with my original plan which was to post an instrumental version.

By posting an instrumental version to GarageBand.com, I am asking for the listeners to review my song on its merits as a composition. If I were to post a version with new vocals, it would like I'm asking to be reviewed on the basis of how much have my vocals improved, and that is not what I want to do at this time.

I've listened to an instrumental mix that I had recorded several years ago to get an idea for its suitability for posting to GarageBand.com. Overall I think it's pretty good, but there are a few areas where I think it needs some fills - some percussion, and maybe an additional guitar layer to bring out the melody.

What my next steps would be - set aside a budget for studio fees and schedule a session or two.

What's next?

The stresses ofthe past couple of weeks that led to the closing of the sale of my house have caught up with me. This week I have been feeling totally exhausted and, I'm sure, unbearable to be around.

Now that the sale of my house is out of the way, I've been asking myself what is my next big challenge?

I think it is time to get back to what I was doing with GarageBand.com and post another song for review. As I wrote in October, I'd like to post a song I wrote called The Great Escape. (See GarageBand.com - next step) Lyrically, this song is about exchanging a life of dreariness, duties, responsibilities and empty materialism for a life with adventure, creativity, exploration and passion.

I've been considering posting an instrumental version of this song. J, on the other hand, thinks I should just re-record the vocals - she says my singing voice has improved since I made the original recording.

I'll have to think about that and decide which way I want to go.

Closing

I finally closed on the sale of my house this week. The buyers took possession of the house and I took possession of their money. I was in there several times this week doing some last minute clean up. I felt sad as I prepared to leave the house for the last time - it was the first house I'd bought and I'd lived in it for eight of the nine years that I owned it, so there were a lot of memories, good and bad, associated with it. However, this is an opportunity for me to leave behind the ghosts of my past and to get ready for the next phase of my life.

Jump starting Mission: Dawn Chapter 2

It's been bothering me that I haven't posted any new scenes to my Mission: Dawn blog since September. I've been working on a scene called Celebration and I've made some headway in the past couple of weeks, although it still isn't where I want it to be. In order to keep my momentum and motivation going, I've decided to split the scene into two parts. I've posted what I have so far as Celebration - Part 1.

I have some notes that I've made during one of my writing blitz exercises about what is going to happen next in the story. I'll be using those notes as the basis for Celebration - Part 2.

I had been hoping that I'd be able to write Chapter 2 in 2 to 3 months. It's now been about 6 months since I've started it. Grrrrr.

Tony Robbins and duct tape

I've been listening to a Tony Robbins CD about driving forces. Tony Robbins defines six forces that are supposed to drive human behaviour.

Two of his six forces are those that TR calls uncertainty and uncertainty. According to TR, it is a paradox of human behaviour that people are motivated by certainty as well as uncertainty. His claim is that people want a degree of certainty (they're going to eat, have a roof over their head, be able to pay the bills) but if they are saturated with certainty it leads to boredom - hence they create uncertainty.

What TR calls uncertainty is what I call security and what he calls uncertainty is what I call variety.

I find that being involved in real estate creates a lot of variety. One day it's roll up your sleeves and get dirty, physical work, get on your hands and knees and poke your head into a dark and dusty hole in the basement because you're trying to fix something. The next day it's city hall, going through bureaucracy to get a licence or permit for something, or to make a property tax payment.

One day you're dealing with duct tape; the next day you're dealing with red tape.

Writing the next paragraph

My novel-in-progress, Mission: Dawn, has once again stalled. It is now six months since I started Chapter 2. I had a good roll in the summer when I completed several scenes, but work and real estate seem to be in the way of regular writing.

I've been working on a scene called Celebration. I actually got stuck for a while with this scene. I had a general idea for this scene but the details just weren't coming to me.

One technique I use when I am stuck but want to keep moving forward is what I call the next paragraph. What I do is quickly review the last scene I've written and then tell myself to write the next paragraph. If I'm really stuck then I tell myself to just write the next sentence, or line of dialog. If I can discipline myself to do this process once a day and actually write it, then after about three days I'll get back into a flow and the story just starts coming to me.

Months are flying by

The months are flying by at an incredible pace these days.

My house is sold and the buyer has waived all conditions. I need to get the rest of my belongings out of there before closing date, which is less than three weeks away. I also need to send some documents to the lawyer I am using for this transaction, and I need to look for some documents to send to my agent.

There are some issues that have come up that I need to deal with in regards to another rental property - I had let certain things slide there and as a result I have a bit of a mess to clean up.

On top of all this, I started a new work assignment last week. It is with the same client I worked for in the spring. One of the upsides of being at this client site is that I have started doing the stairs again.

House is sold

My agent has notified me that the buyer has completed their home inspection and has waived all conditions. This means my house is now officially sold

They had one condition in their offer that struck me as unusual - the condition that they will be able to get insurance for the house. It turns out that this was a roundabout way for the buyer to assure themselves that they weren't buying a growhouse.

They also wanted me to repair a crack in the basement, which I agreed to do. My agent referred me to a company, called The Crack Doctor, that does this work.

What an irony it is that I have a buyer who is concerned about buying a growhouse and I hire a contractor called The Crack Doctor.

An offer I won't refuse

I got an offer on my house that I can refuse, but I'm not going to.

I had been at the house doing some clean up work in the basement, and I just got home from that, when my agent called me. "All your work has paid off - I have an offer for you," he told me.

The price is lower than what I'd like but it's still in my range. The lower end of my range. It's a very short closing - only about three weeks away. I have to get the rest of my furniture out of the house by then, and I'm responsible for repairing a crack in the basement.

I'll be meeting my agent tonight to sign the paperwork.

Learning all about life

I had an interesting conversation with a young girl at church on Sunday - she's about 4 or 5 years old. It was during the hospitality part of the service, and she asked if I could please help her butter her bagel.

I told her that of course I would, and because she said please I would be most delighted to.

She said, "In my house, we never get anything we ask for unless we say please."

It made me happy to hear that there are still people in this world that value courtesy and are teaching it to their children. I replied to her, "Well there you go, now you know everything there is to know about life," I told her.

She paused for a moment and then said, "Well, maybe not everything."

What a precious gem.

Painting is almost done

I've almost finished painting the bedroom, as I mentioned in my previous post.

The room in question and I have spent a lot of time together in the past, particularly when I painted it the first time. Going back there this week to paint it again was like a reunion. I even felt the spirit of my first cat, Smudge, roaming the hallway and I missed him. I remember that I discouraged him from going into that room when I painted it the first time, because he once peed on the drop cloth.

First offer on house

I got an offer Saturday on the house I am selling. It was a low offer. I tried to meet him halfway but he didn't want to come up much from his price, so I let the offer go.

I've been getting comments that the house looks tired. One of the bedrooms is painted in a kind of psychedelic fashion - it was an experiment in creative painting I did a few years ago. I like it, but I think my potential buyers may be getting turned off by it and seeing it as needing work. So I plan to paint that bedroom in a more conservative colour this week.

GarageBand.com - next step

In considering the reviews I received on GarageBand.com from the song Yesterday Seems So Far Away, I have decided my next step will be to post an instrumental version of another song I wrote, called The Great Escape.

I want to do this as an experiment. Since I received so many negative comments about the vocals, I want to post an instrumental version so my reviewers will be able to hear the music and not be distracted by the vocal performance.

I have some ideas of steps I can take to improve the vocals on future recordings, but so far I'm kind of holding myself back from acting on any of those ideas. I guess one of the things that is holding me back is not having a clear sense of priorities - do I want to focus my energies on my music or on my creative writing? The truth is I want to accomplish in both areas - and so I end up puttering along on both fronts yet taking great strides in neither.

Greatest accomplishment

I've experienced my greatest accomplishment of the year. Perhaps of my lifetime.

J's brother is visiting us this weekend with his family, including their new baby. She was sleeping in one of the bedrooms. When she awoke, she started crying and neither her mommy or daddy were around. I picked her up and held her and rocked her and talked to her and sang to her - and finally she stopped crying.

I got a four month old baby to stop crying. I am so pleased with myself right now.

It's my birthday and I'll pfft if I want to

It's not the talking you need to worry about, it's the bad breath.

If someone had asked me yesterday how old I was, I could have said fourty years and three hundred sixty four days. Today, I am a little bit older (for those who aren't good at modulo math, that would be fourty one).

Here's a birthday horoscope I found:

Your self-confidence has suffered some damage. This year, however, marks your entry into a new and exhilarating phase of your life, bringing a most welcome change in your fortunes. It can only benefit you greatly at every level. Happy birthday to Matt Damon, 35.

How about that - I share a birthday with Matt Damon.

Well, I for one, am looking forward to this new and exhilarating phase. Last week I published my 100th blog post, and I am looking forward to the next 100.

Contracting work almost done

I went by the house I am selling earlier this week and saw that the contractor I had hired to do the face work was almost done. He had repaired the cracked wood and was in the process of painting it a couple of days ago. I am sure he is done by now.

Meanwhile, there continue to be showings at the house. Lots of showings so far. This is good - this part of the marketing pipeline is working well. But I want to get something to the next stage of the pipeline - an offer. A reasonable offer.

Building blocks, heros, and ensembles

I was searching on the internet the other day for story writing software. I was curious to learn what kind of software is out there for this purpose. I came across one application called John Truby's Blockbuster. There was a 15 day trial version available; I downloaded it in order to give it a spin. This fifteen day trial period will probably end before I've had a good look at it though.

This application is based on a model that uses 22 building blocks for developing a story. Building block #1 is Self-Revelation, Need, Desire. This is what the manual has to say about this building block:

The self-revelation, need, and desire represent the overall range of change of your hero in the story. They are the structural "journey" your hero will take. Therefore, it is important that you determine these elements first so that all other steps in the journey will lead you where you want to go.

I have been reluctant to identify a protagonist in Mission: Dawn because my vision for this story has been to create an ensemble cast. Must I have just one protagonist?

I looked up protagonist on wikipedia. It says In an ancient Greek drama, the protagonist was the leading actor and as such there could only be one protagonist in a play. Hmmm, okay, but Mission: Dawn is not an ancient Greek drama. I guess I need to do some more thinking about this.


Some articles I have found about story writing:
Protagonist - From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
How To Write A Novel - A Simple Procedure to Follow by Paul Saevig
A Novel Idea - First of a series of columns by John Ravenscroft as he writes his first novel, in public

Got a contractor

I received a written estimate from one of the contractor's I met last week - the one that I said that they struck me as the most professional. I had expected that their estimate would be higher than the others I had. They're a professional company and I expected they would charge more for their services. I had expected their quote to be about $2000-3000 higher. It wasn't. It was about $10,000 more than what the other contractors I'd talked to had quoted me. Back to the drawing board, and I'm getting antsy to get the work started.

I called my financial advisor and I called a guy from my church who does real estate, and I asked them if they knew a contractor to whom they could refer me. Both of them had a contact for me.

I also called a guy I met recently from my men's group - he's a carpenter by trade. I met with him at the house, he said he could start on Monday, and to make a short story shorter, I gave him the job.

In the meantime, there have been about a dozen showings already, so I'm hoping at least one of them will lead to an offer.

Relationship milestone

J and I have reached a new milestone in our relationship. It is not as big as getting engaged but it's almost as significant.

We opened a joint account this week.

Now if only we actually put some money into it.

Marriage vending machine

I think someone should invent a marriage vending machine. Just think of it - you put in your credit card, punch a few buttons, it takes your picture, voila - you're married!

They could put these machines in convenience stores, gas stations, almost anywhere you'd find a regular vending machine or ATM. It could save couples from months and months and months of planning and expenses.

I'm heading down to the patent office now.

Looking for a contractor

After finding out that the contractor wanted a 50% deposit for fixing the front of the house that I am selling (see The pace of life picks up) I decided to keep looking for a contractor.

I got in touch with a few more contractors and arranged for them to come and look at the house.

One of the guys didn't show up.

Another one came and gave me a verbal estimate for the work I wanted done. I asked him to prepare for me a written estimate of the original work I wanted done. I haven't heard back from him yet.

Another one came also. He works for a company that has been around for quite a while. This company strikes me as the most professional of all the contractors I've talked to about this project. He phoned me yesterday to ask whether I wanted to receive his estimate by fax, regular mail or email.

I'd like to make a decision this week and get this project going.

Fireplace is now operational

I finally got busy with getting the fireplace looked at in my rental property (see Fireplace costs and Done Deal - basement tenant). When I had it inspected last year, the contractor told me not to use the fireplace because there are holes in the brick wall that could allow carbon monoxide to enter the house.

I had a technician from Direct Energy come look at it. I don't generally like dealing with Direct Energy - they give a four hour window of when they're going to come, and I've had experiences where I've waited and they didn't even show up. Dealing with them has been frustrating at times.

However, I wanted to get this fireplace operational, and if that meant waiting four hours for a technician to arrive, then that's what I prepared myself to do.

As it turns out, the technician arrived at only one hour into the four hour window. He cleaned the fireplace and tested it. It worked. He checked it for carbon monoxide leaks and there were none. As far as the holes in the brick walls go, they have nothing to do with the gas fireplace. They were probably used for ventilation with the original fireplace but serve no purpose with the gas fireplace unit in place.

So he declared the fireplace operational and safe to use. He spent 45 minutes on the premises and the charge was $130. Considering the value having a functional fireplace adds to the property, the peace of mind I get from knowing my tenants aren't going to get carbon monoxide poisoning, and knowing how much it could have cost me if I'd had to replace the fireplace, it was a worthwhile expense.

GarageBand.com - Track of the Day

I received this email from the people who run Garageband.com:

Congratulations! As a result of some very enthusiastic reviews from GarageBand.com members, "Yesterday Seems So Far Away" will be Track of the Day at GarageBand.com.

For 24 hours on Wednesday, the 28th of September, 2005 (PST) "Yesterday Seems So Far Away" will be featured on GarageBand.com's Progressive Rock front page. Best wishes from all at GarageBand.com and keep up the great work!

Wow! The people at GarageBand.com are much kinder than my own inner critic. Still, it's a victory and I will take it.

Big blue shi*t

I was speaking with J's three year old nephew, Little V, on the telephone last evening and I asked him what we was going to wear for Hallowe'en this year.

"Big blue shi*t," I heard him say.

"Big blue what?" I asked him. I wasn't sure if I was hearing what I was hearing.

"Big blue shi*t," he repeated. I was hearing what I was hearing.

Later I was speaking with his mother and I asked her what costume Little V was going to wear. "His Superman costume," she told me.

I told her what he had said to me.

"Oh, he still can't say R. He was saying that he was going to wear his big blue shirt."

The pace of life picks up

The pace of life has picked up since the beginning of the month. Since the time that I had my epiphany about selling my house, I have listed it for sale. I have been busy cleaning it up and preparing it for showings. Ironically, things have started picking up at work as well, so I have gone from two months of life at a casual, leisurely pace, to a much busier state of being.

At the same time that I have been preparing it for showings, I have also been trying to get a contractor to come in and fix an exterior window frame that looks rather ugly. It shouldn't be this hard to find a decent contractor for this job, but I just have not had luck. Out of the numerous contractors I called, one actually came to the house and gave me an estimate. His estimate was in the ballpark of what I was willing to spend so I was ready to give him the job - almost.

When I asked for a reference, he directed me to a flower shop where he had done the interior. I checked out the flower shop with J; the work looked decent. I also spoke with the owner and she gave him a decent review. So, I decided I would give him the job.

Then he asked for a 50% deposit. Yikes - that is excessive. Suddenly I don't feel so comfortable about hiring this guy.

My legacy

This weekend I attended a retreat called Legacy Discovery Event (LDE). During this event I came to realize that I don't know much about the people I came from or their lives. I didn't know my grandparents; I don't know who their parents were.

Throughout my life I have explored various forms of written and visual expression - journaling, creative writing, photography, video creation, blogging, music.

Perhaps these tools of expression will be part of the record of who I am and how I lived my life so that those who come after me may know me in a way that I did not know those who came before me.

Yesterday reviews - Part 3

Here is another sample of reviews I have received on GarageBand.com. I've included negative and positive reviews - trying to be fair here.

From Yucaipa, California -

Love the accoustic intro, there arent too many bands that could pull that off anymore. the feeling that it puts off is awesome. in the begining the vocals are a little of key but they correct themselves. love the melody, the accoustic is very melodic. i would hold the lighter up at a show! i dont think ive heard anybody that sounds quite like it but its deffinatly got an old sound. maybe emerson lake and palmer, but not quite. lyrics are reminisant, i like it. keep up the good work!

From United Kingdom -

1. lyrics are pretty dull im afraid to say
2. melody is something sadly lacking from this singer.
3. your sound is the sound of my nipples being cheesegratered, make it stop.

I worked really hard to get that nipples being cheesegratered sound, thanks for noticing! And they're not just anybody's nipples, they are specifically your nipples that are being cheesegratered.

From Nottingham Uk, United Kingdom -

very unusual voice,affecting melody and nice minimal tinkly guitar arrangement, give it lovely atmosphere reminiscent of simon and garfunkel(in a good way), lyrically engaging, with a very classic americana feel...simple but beautiful..

From Ithaca, New York -

What the Fu*k.This song is in wrong catagory or maybe not.It's like a english fairy tail or bedtime story to scare the crap out of ya, when your singing to a child.As strange as it seems it is a pretty cool song although the singer irratated me at first then seemed the perfect part but really is for a actor stage.Nice guitar picking.

From Corpus Christi, Texas -

this intro takes me back to 6th grade and some GnR or metallica. oh my god...i was wrong. its like terry jacks in a dracula costume. Yes-TURD-ay.. ..Uni-VERCITY... this is serious? i cant take it anymore.

Thanks for the insightful review. Say hello to your 7th grade teacher for me. I think you're trying to make a point here... that I used words with too many syllables?

From Somewhere, On Earth -

A very nice melody it has a pleasant smooth sound. I like the guitar work, it sounds very nice like Adrian Legg. The lyrics are excellent very deep and meaningful. The vocals are a little shakey as if the singer is slightly nervous? Maybe its your unique style. You asked who you sound like..The closest band that comes to mind would be Wishbone Ash.

Yesterday reviews - Part 2

Some more reviews I've received on GarageBand.com.

From Hilliard, Ohio -

Alrighty. These vocals remind me a lot of the Smashing pumpkins. However I don't think that nasally voice works for this soft music. The voice in this song is often painfully sharp, sorry, just vocals need some definite work. Guitars are really pretty. I don't know if this song is classified under prog rock however. It seems more like a folk song. Sounds like Bob Dylan, eh? That's more the style, however this does not sound anything like the prog rock kings like Rush, Yes, and ELP. I could see potential with this song. I do like the 12 string guitar in there, mixed in with a clean guitar. I just wish there was something to keep my attention more. I was starting to get bored after 4 minutes, especially with no drums really. So that's just something to think about. I think the melody of the song would be a lot better with some different vocals, but maybe this is a more lyrical song. That's the way Bob Dylan was. In conclusion, wrong genre, work on vocals, and make it more interesting.

This review repeats the general sentiments I've been getting - guitars sound great, vocals are week, wrong genre.

The reviewer's comment about gettng bored after four minutes without drums echo my thought that this song would not work as an instrumental.

At one time in the making of this song, I had envisioned a version that did have piano, drums, and a few strategically placed distortion guitar chords. However, I liked the way the acoustic guitars sounded so much that I never ended up putting in the additional layers.

From Riverton, Wyoming -

Nice fade in. Let's hope the song keeps building like that intro.

Your voaclist seems a little held back. Let it out man. Let your voice really belt out and sing out. You seem kind of naiasly. But I gotta say, the style is different and kind of intrigueing.

The lyrics are almost childish. But that's what makes me so interested in them. It would be interesting to know what you were thinking about when you wrote them. The words seem so fragile and hollow. It's great. Don't try to hard to be poetic though.

The melody is definitely different.

you sound like an old 60's disneys movie. It's very different and original. Good job.

Despite the repeated criticisms of the vocals, I am actually starting to feel encouraged from all these reviews. I imagine that if I improved the vocals and marketed this song in the appropriate genre it could actually sell.

From Horn Lake, Mississippi

the melody has a good feeling to it.the lyrics have a fairly good story behind it.the guitarist plays very well with the chording of the song.

Thanks for the feel-good review!

Yesterday reviews - Part 1

Here are some of the reviews that I've received on GarageBand.com for the song Yesterday Seems So Far Away, and my thoughts.

From Trussville, Alabama -

1.Well the lyrics are very mediocer in the fact that they are simple.

2.The melody is very unique and refreshingly well written.

3. Im not exactly sure who you sound like, but that is very unique.

I get that this reviewer did not like the lyrics because he or she finds them too simple. I think that's more of a reflection of the reviewer's taste than a critique. However, I'll take the comment about the melody as positive feedback. It's nice to know I don't come across as a mere copycat of someone else.

From Niagara Falls, New York -

Guitars sound like old Genesis. I like the melody the guitars present. Feels very melancholy. Unfortunately, the singer has ruined this for me. Is that the love child of Kermit the Frog and Barney the Dinosaur? I could certainly visualize Kermit alone on his lilypad serenading the Sesame Street gang...

The guitars really support the mood of the lyrics. The chord structure and picking leave me feeling saddened and longing to be younger with no worries. The guitars are the high point of this song. The lyrics are good - sounds like someone's longing for simpler times and the parallels that are drawn do a good job of explaining that.

Might have done better in a different genre. This doesn't really sound too prog to me. Maybe folk or acoustic folks my give you a better review.

The comparison to Kermit the Frog is a bit of an ouch to my ego but it's a fair criticism. I do need to improve my vocals.

I appreciate the praise for the guitar performance - I should forward these comments to the guitarist.

It sounds like this reviewer "gets" what this song is really about as far as the lyrics go, in comparison the previous reviewer who found the lyrics too simple. Truth be told, I like the words, I like the story they tell and the emotions they convey. I would resist altering the lyrics in any way.

Finally, the comment about doing better in a different genre mirrors my own doubts about what genre to place this song in. Maybe as an experiment, I'll submit a version of this song to one of those alternate genres and see what kind of response I get there. Personally though, I challenge the notion that a song that is acoustically performed cannot be considered progressive. My idea of what progressive rock is, isn't just that it has to have heavy bass, drums and distortion guitars.

From Kelowna, B.C. -

I was immediately taken by the intro to this song. Its light, relaxing and well played, creating a soft mood with the chosen sounds. Had it kept going this way, I would have been impressed, but I'm sorry to say, the vocal track spoiled it for me. The style and words were not nearly as professional as the music and really took away from what was happening. I would suggest dropping them all together, or maybe replacing the sung melody with a string section. Even just softly spoken over the song if you had to have the lyrics may sound interesting in a poetic sort of way. Musically, well done - parts compliment each other well, and the tempo/style change is nice, but lose that vocal.

The comments about the vocals are unanimous - I get that they are the weakest part of this track. I have my own ideas about how to improve them. This reviewer suggests dropping them altogether - I don't see this song working as just an instrumental. I think the lyrics really are an essential part of this song. Though it would be another viable experiment to produce a version that has a string section playing the melody instead of vocals.

Reviews are in

I've received a number of reviews of the song that I posted to GarageBand.com last week. Now, if I was being totally objective I'd say the reviews have been well balanced overall, presenting both positive and negative comments in a generally constructive manner.

I'm not totally objective of course. As much as I try not to take constructive criticism too personally, I still struggle with my own inner critic, which is the harshest critic of them all. As a result of conversations with my inner critic, I am sensitive in particular about my vocal abilities. When I receive reviews about my vocals being weak or off key, my inner critic says You see! I'm right! What the hell gives you the right to be putting this stuff out in public?

It is frustrating and discouraging to want to do something so much but to hear that I'm no good at it.

Fortunately I also have a kinder, gentler, compassionate self. This side has been working overtime dealing with the critic. This side reminds me that there are ways of improving such deficiencies. This side reminds me not to overlook the positive feedback that I have received. This side reminds me to quit being so hard on myself and to quit beating myself up.

This side reminds me that persistence prevails.

GarageBand.com - My first upload

I have gotten as far as writing two reviews on GarageBand.com. I need to write a total of 15 in order to upload one of my own tracks, or pay a fee. Well, I've been finding that writing these reviews just doesn't come that easy to me, so I purchased an upload credit.

I have tried to upload my first track, which is a song titled Yesterday Seems So Far Away. I wasn't sure to which genre I should submit it, and narrowed it down to two choices - Progressive Rock or Acoustic.

The structure of the song is, in my opinion, progressive. It changes time signatures several times, and follows what is in my opinion a progressive storytelling verse structure rather than a more pop-oriented Verse 1, Verse 2, Chorus etc structure. However, it is an acoustic performance, featuring only guitar and bass as instruments.

In the end I decided to put it under Progressive Rock rather than Acoustic. Many of the songs I checked out under Progressive Rock had a harder rock sound than my song. Despite this, I am going to assume that listeners of the Progressive Rock genre will accept a song with an acoustic performance. I believe (possibly incorrectly - I hope time will tell) that listeners of the Acoustic genre will not be as tolerant of this song structure.

Thoughts about juggling about multiple projects

Wil Wheaton wrote a post on his blog about juggling multiple projects. (Yes, Wil Wheaton from Star Trek: The Next Generation)

I was unsure about working on several projects in parallel. I didn't think I'd be able to maintain creative focus or momentum on several different projects, but Andrew reminded me that Isaac Asimov always worked on several different projects at once, so if he got blocked on one of them, he could just switch to a different one and keep on working. I'm no Isaac Asimov, but I'm a huge fan and admirer of his work, and if it worked for him . . . well, maybe it will work for me, too.

J has sometimes pointed out to me that I seem to be all over the place trying to do everything all at once. I have explained to her in the past that this is actually my preferred mode of being. Now I have two well known authorities, Wil Wheaton and Isaac Asimov, to back me up on this.

Wil Wheaton's blog is at http://www.wilwheaton.net/

Epiphany - inspired to sell

The other night I woke up at two in the morning with a message in my head - Sell your house. The house this message was referring to was the house I lived in before I moved in with J and her mom. I still own this house; I had it rented out to a couple of really good tenants.

These tenants were just over a year through a two year lease. Unfortunately they encountered some financial difficulties and could no longer afford to stay there. I sadly agreed to let them out of the lease, and I listed my house with a rental agent.

I have owed this house for almost nine years and lived in it for almost eight of those years. It was the first house I bought, and I admit to having a emotional attachment to this house.

This voice from within was telling me Sell it. I replied that I didn't want to give up this house, but the voice gently repeated, Consider selling it.

I have learned through my life experiences to pay attention to such messages from within. I started thinking about what would happen if I sold the house, and saw that there were a number of reasons why this idea made sense. I also have a strong intuition that this undertaking will be an important and strategic step towards reaching financial independence, though I don't know exactly how that will happen.

Although losing my tenants is unfortunate, perhaps there is a greater good that will come out of this.

Windows Movie Maker and audio dropouts

I've noticed that some of the video projects I have created with Windows Movie Maker contain dropouts in the audio track. I first noticed this on the DVD's I created in March. At the time, I thought that the reason I was getting those dropouts was because my computer was low on memory so that WMM lacked the resources to render the video file properly. I suspected also that my hard drive was filling up so that there might not have been enough hard drive space for the temporary files.

Since then I have added memory to my computer and I have cleared off some of the large AVI files that were chewing up space on my hard drive. Then I rebuilt the afflicted videos - and found that they still contained audio dropouts. Thus I concluded that lack of resources was not the cause.

I verified that the audio glitches did not originate in the source files I was using. There were no glitches when I previewed my project within WMM. However, when I created an AVI file from my project, I found that the resulting file again contained the glitches. So I have concluded that WMM has some problems with the audio when it creates an AVI file.

Washing machine broken?

I think our washing machine is broken. The reason I think this is that apparently everything we put in it shrinks. My shirts, my pants, they all used to fit me fine but they have all shrunk in the past few months and the only reasonable explanation I can think of is that it must be the washing machine.

My belt has shrunk too, I've noticed. I used to put it on the third notch; now I am using the second or even first notch. I've never put my belt in the washer; it must be all the heat and humidity we've experienced this summer that has caused the leather to contract.

Please Mr. Postman - Dancing mom

It's been a few months since I've worked on a video project - the last time was in March when I created a DVD to give to J's brother and to my parents at Easter (See Slicing salami)

The last few videos I made were effectively slide shows set to music. I was using Windows Movie Maker at that time, and it was not able to use the MOV video files from my digital camera. Since then, I have obtained a new application called ShowBiz. This software came bundled with my DVD burner actually.

ShowBiz has no problem with MOV files. It also lets me do more with effects and transitions. For example, I can chain video effects up to two levels. What this means is that I can combine effects.

I used some footage I shot in April when J's aunt and cousin came to visit. The whole family ended up having a dinner party with dancing and karaoke. I had several scenes that I had shot of J's mom dancing with various people. I split the scenes and spliced them together in a pleasing and entertaining combination, and set as soundtrack the song Please Mr. Postman by The Carpenters. I called this video Dancing mom.

J and her mom were both pleased with my video,and it reminded them of the fun we all had.

GarageBand.com

I have recently discovered a web site called GarageBand that focuses on independent music, and I have finally got around to setting up an account there. I haven't uploaded any tracks yet; I have to review 15 songs by other artists first in order to get an upload credit. I plan to do that over the next week or two.

I've uploaded a picture to my GB account but it is distorted. I uploaded an image of a business card with my name and logo, but my image is rectangular and GB made it square. The conversion process stretched it out vertically which makes it look silly. I'll replace it with an image of one of my CD covers.

After I complete my 15 reviews, I will be able to upload one of my own tracks, and then it will get reviewed by other members. Thus, I will be directly fulfilling one of my goals for 2005: Build and use a peer review network for my songwriting.

Links:
GarageBand website
My artist page on GarageBand

Point Clark - thirty two years to find a lighthouse

When I was about eight years old, I went on a trip to a beach, with my sister, my parents and my cousins with their parents.

That trip happened a long time ago, but there were a few things about it that have stood out in my mind for much of my adult life. One was the lighthouse. I remember seeing it on the left side of the road as we entered the parking area. It was open to the public, with an admission fee. I being who I am wanted to go inside the lighthouse and climb to the top, but my parents wouldn't let me.

The other thing I remember about that trip is losing my blue ball to the lake. The way I remembered it, someone threw the ball and it went into the water. My dad remembers it differently - he says nobody threw the ball into the lake; instead me and my cousin were playing with it when the wind caught it and blew it into the water. However it actually happened, I do remember standing on the beach watching my ball floating away in the water, and none of the adults would go into the water and bring it back for me. I lost my ball that day and was very sad and upset about it.

Throughout much of my adult life I did not know where this beach was but I had come to believe that it was at Point Pelee, and that the lake I remembered was Lake Erie. Those boyhood images remained in my memory and in recent weeks began to draw me. I had to go back to that beach again; I had to see that lighthouse again. Those memories were taking on an obsessive quality - perhaps it was a feature of the mid-life crisis I'm supposed to be having.

A couple of weeks ago I dragged J and her mom out with me to Point Pelee. I was going to find that beach!

I did not. However, I began to realize that perhaps the beach of my memory was not at Point Pelee. There were certain signs that just did not add up. But if not Point Pelee then where was that lighthouse? Did it even exist at all outside my memory?

I did some digging on the internet looking for lighthouses. I found one that suggested a likely location - Point Clark, which is at Lake Huron and not at Lake Erie. I picked the memories of my sister and parents - did they even remember that trip? They did! Everything they recalled about it lent credibility to my new theory about its location. My sister said the name Point Clark resonated with her as soon as I said it - she was sure that was it. She also suggested to me that perhaps I was still trying to get back my ball. Whatever my subconscious motivation might have been, one thing I knew - my inner child was seeking my cooperation. I just had to take him to Point Clark.

I had planned to do some traveling with J along the Lake Huron coastline, so I insisted that we stop at Point Clark along the way. We found Point Clark the town and then with some help we found the site of the lighthouse. I actually stopped to ask someone myself for directions – how serious is that!

Well, we found the lighthouse. It was on the left side of the roadway, just as I remembered it. Naturally I wanted to go up the lighthouse... so up the lighthouse I went! J wasn't up to climbing the 114 steps so she waited in a shady spot on the beach while I paid the admission and took the tour up the tower. The climb was an easy one for me because of all the practice I've had doing the stairs at work in the past few month. I took in the view at the top and also took some pictures before coming back down. It was a little scary coming back down because the stairs were a little steep and there were no handrails at the top two flights.

By the time I came back down, I realized that my sister had been mistaken – I didn't come here because I wanted to get back my ball; I came because I wanted to go up the lighthouse. What a miracle, that an eight year old boy taken on a one-time trip to some beach with a lighthouse would find it again thirty eight years later, return at the age of forty and climb to the top of the lighthouse.

Writing challenge from Incarnations of Immortality

I've been re-reading a book series, Incarnations of Immortality by Piers Anthony. I discovered this series about a decade and a half ago, while on a vacation in Florida with my parents.

On that trip I also recieved inspiration for the concept and words for a song I wrote called Magician's Plea, but that's another story.

Each of the books that make up the Incarnations of Immortality series contains an extensive Author's Note at the end of the novel. In the Author's Note of one of the books that I re-read recently, Piers Anthony discusses his writing schedule. I am, of course, interested in learning how other authors practice their craft. In this particular Note (Book Four, Wielding a Red Sword), Piers Anthony writes An average of two thousand words a day for two months covers a one hundred twenty thousand word novel. Wow, two thousand words a day for sixty days? That sounds like a lot.

Through a bit of experimentation, I have found that it takes me about ninety minutes to two hours to write two thousand words. Writing two thousand words is not the challenge for me; making up two thousand words worth of story at a time - now that is a challenge.

Progression #3

I'm playing with Progression #3 today:
Bb Gm7 F Eb Bb Gm7 F Bb

Just for something different, and because I gotta be me, I decided to do this one in 5/4 time, rather than the more common 4/4, 3/4 or 6/8 time signatures.

In standard 4/4 time, there are four beats to each bar. The first and third beats are accented - major accent on the first and minor accent on the third.

In 5/4 time, there are several ways of accenting the bar. For this exercise, I chose to put major accent on the first note and minor accent on the third. The timing does sound odd to my ear when I play back my demo, and the melody I came up with is suggesting I use a 6/8 time signature instead.

For most of the demos I've made so far for these progressions, I used a Grand Piano sound to play the progression and a Female Aah voice to play the melody. The result so far has been that, although each progression and melody is unique, they all sound similar in tone and style. At some point down the road, I'll have to start experimenting with different combinations of instruments and rhythms to get more variety.

Songwriting exercises revisited

Back in April I had found a book on songwriting. In this book I found a list of chord progressions and an exercise - to write a melody for each progression. (See Songwriting exercise) I dabbled a bit with this exercise, then got really busy at work so I didn't have much creative energy left.

I revisited those exercises this week, and worked on four of the eleven progressions. The effort has helped me deal with that state of lethargy I've been in the past few days.

One progression I particularly like is #4, which is:
G D Em C C Am Bm Em - G D Em C - G Am Bm D G.

I'm not sure what the dashes in the progression mean (I just copied it as written in the book), so I'm making up my own interpretation. I'm interpreting that the dashes separate the verse, chorus, and bridge. I've created a Reason file and so far I've worked on the verse (G D Em C C Am Bm Em).

Even though it's still in rough form, it already sounds very nice. J also likes that one best of the ones I've worked on so far.

Heat wave

It has been so hot for the last several weeks, everyone's lawn is drying up and turning yellow. Let me tell you, it is really freaky driving down the street and seeing all these lawns, even in the park, of yellow grass. Grass is supposed to be green! It feels like an episode of Twilight Zone, or like being on some other planet with alien vegetation.

Adustment, frustration and self-compassion

Having finished my recent work assignment and returned from my vacation to Sault Ste. Marie, I have more time on my hands now. So you might think that with all this extra time I would just go full steam on all the things I couldn't do before for which I was blaming a lack of time.

Logically that makes sense, but my motivation isn't tied into logic these days. I have simply slowed down the pace of my life. I feel too lazy and lethargic to do anything, yet too restless to do nothing. It is a frustrating state of being. I suppose my fear is that this state will continue forever and I will end up wasting my time away, wasting my life away.

Yet, perhaps I need to call upon my self-compassion, and accept that it is okay for me to be in this state in the present moment.

Did you write this about our childhood?

I was speaking on the phone with my sister tonight. She sometimes does graphic design, so I asked her if she could make a polished version of the Mission: Dawn insignia that I designed.

She said she could look at it when she has time, and asked me to email her my design. Well, I've already put a sketch up on the blog I set up for my novel-in-progress, so instead of emailing her a copy, I told her to go online and get it from there. She went to look for it while we were on the phone, and on her way to the relevant page she happened upon a scene I wrote recently called Bright of Sun. She read the first few lines:

"Knock on the door."
"You knock - you're older than me."
"I'm older than you so obey me."
"No! Just because you're older doesn't mean you always tell me what to do!"

When she read this, she asked me if this was supposed to be about me and her. She said it sounded like something I would have said to her!

That's funny. I wasn't consciously drawing on my own childhood when I wrote that dialog. But, come to think of it, that scene just came to me, just popped into my head, one day while I was driving home from work. I really liked that scene too; I liked the bickering between Nesta and Kitoyo. So, maybe my subconscious mind really was drawing on my own childhood when it delivered that scene to me.

Vacation Part 3 - Northern Lights Festival

In the final chapter of our vacation, we drove from Sault Ste. Marie to Sudbury. We didn't have to stop at all once we left Sault Ste. Marie - not for a stop sign, not for a traffic light, not for an accident or for traffic, or refreshments or washroom. Just drove for three straight hours until we reached Sudbury.

We stayed in a dorm room at Laurentian University in Sudbury. J found out about these accomodations when she was researching things to do in Sudbury, and that's when she learned about the Northern Lights Festival. It turned out that the campus accomodation was supposed to be for festival volunteers and performers only, but they gave us a room anyways. "We're not going to turn you away," they said.

Our room was on the second floor. There was one washroom on the second floor, and it was for females only. The men's washroom was on the third floor. Did I mention that I drove for three straight hours without stopping?

In the morning we heard that there was a breakfast at the residence, but we weren't sure whether it was supposed to be just for the volunteers and performers, and we were reluctant to crash it. Then we ran into one of the organizers, who is on the Board of Directors for the festival, and she invited us to the breakfast. So we went.

We met a few performers there. One was a fellow named Yann from a Montreal band named Genticorum. There was also a man we passed by in the hallway and I said hi to him. We later found out he was also a performer.

A shuttle brought us right into the festival grounds so we didn't even have to pay admission. I guess it was a worthwhile tradeoff - trading off a waashroom in our room for admission to this festival.

We watched several performances. During one of them, J recognized that the band leader was the same man we had passed by in the hallway that morning. He introduced the band - I didn't know how to spell it at first, but it sounded like Shaggy Dog. I found out later that the band is called Chakidor.

Chakidor had a really good, lively performance. Their sound was good too - it was clear and you could distinctly hear each instrument, Hey - people don't usually pay attention to the sound guy.

Vacation Part 2 - Touring the Soo

The hotel we were staying at in Sault Ste. Marie is called Water Tower Inn. It is named after a structure that stands in front of the building - it used to be a water tower. It is now defunct - it stands only as a landmark, and no doubt remains in order to justify the hotel's name. I thought it looked like an onion or a garlic; J thinks it looks like a turnip.

The hotel has a really nice pool area. It's part indoor and part outdoor. The outdoor part has a whirlpool but the swimming pool is all indoor. We swam a bit in the pool and then sat in the outdoor whirlpool, then went for breakfast.

We spent the afternoon touring the local attractions. We used the complementary vouchers that came with the package when we reserved our canyon tour.

We visited the Art Gallery of Algoma. There were lots of paintings there by the Group of Seven. There were also wind chimes at the gift shop. Nice ones. There was one called Pachelbel Canon in D. It's supposed to sound like the famous Canon. These chimes have a very sweet sound and an awesome resonance. I liked the Canon chime because it makes me think of the song I used when I made our Christmas DVD (Making Movies).

We also visited the Bushplane Heritage Center, an historic building called Ermitage House, and a museum. J got to play with a flight simulator program at the Bushplane Center. She learned how to take off but missed on the intricacies of a proper landing.

Towards the end of our touring we popped in to a smelly diner, which needed a renovation, for a late lunch.

Vacation Part 1 - Agawa Canyon tour

J and I got on the train, barely in time. It was supposed to be seven minutes from the hotel where we were staying to the train station, but our route was foiled by a section of street being closed for construction.

The first ten minutes or so of the tour was through the backyards of industry in Sault Ste. Marie. Some of the passengers made fun of the view, making fun of the promotional literature which had promised views of "lush" forests. Once we got away from the city, we did enter the forest. It was very, very green. For a large part of the tour, the trees were so high that they obscured a lot of the view. You couldn't see the lake for the trees. Despite that, it was a gorgeous ride, and I really felt like I was seeing a private and intimate part of the country.

At one particularly scenic spot, the train rounded a beautiful, large lake. It was a rare scene where the natural beauty of the land and the front of the train were both visible. I nearly collided with another passenger-photographer at the front of our car as we both jockeyed for position. The other passengers were amused by our little competition.

There were no signs, no traffic lights, no litter, no advertising along the way.

Chandler's day in the park

Our cat Chandler seems to have been not too well lately. He doesn't seem to have his usual appetite, he's been shedding a lot, and sneezing, and lethargic. We took him to a vet to check if there was anything wrong with him.

The vet didn't find anything physically wrong with him, which is a relief. However, we figured that maybe because we've been so busy the last several weeks, maybe he was upset that we haven't been around much. J's mom has been away quite a bit too, so he's been home by himself a lot lately.

Getting Chandler into the car to go to the vet or to the groomer to have his nails clipped has always been a major ordeal. He strongly resists going into his cage. This time, rather than trying to get him into his cage, J wrapped him in a towel and carried him into my car. He didn't resist at all - and J looked like she was carrying a baby. We took him to a nearby park. We were at the park for ten to fifteen minutes - we didn't want to overdo it. J held Chandler the whole time and he was totally relaxed about it; he didn't squirm or try to get away. I think he was happy we were spending time with him.

When it was time to go, J climbed back into my car with him. He went into his cage on the back seat by himself. I think that now he now associates going into the cage with going home.

When he got home, he went to his food bowl and finished it off - his appetite seemed normal. I think Chandler really enjoyed his day in the park.

Thanks for feeding the testers

I finished the work assignment today, that I have been on since February (See My fitness commitment.) Although we hit a few rough spots along the way, it ended well. The rest of the test team took me out for lunch today.

The work load was pretty intense for a while, especially in May, but it lightened up in the last few weeks.

I had started doing the stairs every day at first, but that fell off when things got really busy. I was completely off the stairs for several weeks. Towards the end of the assignment I was doing them sporadically, maybe a couple of times a week. Of course I did them yesterday and today, for the last time.

Given the business relationship that exists between my employer and the client, I am sure I will be back there for another project.

In the meantime, it's time to say So long and thanks for all the timbits.

Dreamin' and screamin'

Every once in a while I have a bad dream and wake myself up screaming. Several months ago, I had such a dream. In my dream, there were intruders in the basement of my house in the middle of the night. I try to shout to scare them off and warn my family of the threat in our house. Of course, my vocal chords are immobilized because I am asleep and I am unable to make a sound. This heightens my fear in the dream and escalates my attempts to shout until I am quite literally screaming at the top of my lungs and I wake up. It was a very unsettling experience.

I had another, similar yet different experience of that on the weekend. This time I did not have a scary dream. I could scarcely remember at all what I'd been dreaming. I had a vague impression that I'd been standing on the sidewalk on the street where my parents live. I had a vague impression that I'd been dealing with some people and that I was upset with them. I had a vague impression that there was something inside me I needed to express. It started as a low pitch in my gut, and it increased in pitch and in volume as the scream rose up through my chest, through my throat, and out my mouth. That's about when I woke up.

There is something inside my subconscious that is trying to get out.

Reason, automation, and Matrix

I have figured out how to record automation in Reason. It was pretty intuitive how to do it - just a matter of spending a little bit of time fiddling around.

I used a component called Matrix Pattern Sequencer. Matrix itself does not make any sounds. Instead, you use it to define a pattern, which is a sequence of notes to play. Matrix then sends the appropriate note information to another component, such as the Subtractor Synth, which generates the sound.

Matrix has four banks, named A through D. Each bank can contain up to eight distinct patterns, numbered 1 through 8. Thus there can be up to thirty two distinct patterns, from A1 to D8.


For the Painted Smiles intro, I used three patterns, A1, A2 and A3. By recording automation for the pattern selector, I was able to have Matrix play the required pattern at the appropriate position within the song.

While playing around, I had an idea for an alternate chord progression for Verse 1. I don't know which chord progression to use for my demo - my next step will be to make a mini-demo using each one and decide which one I will stick to.

Starting Chapter 2 - Mission: Dawn

I've decided not to let the fact that I haven't finished Chapter 1 stop me from starting Chapter 2.

My objective for Chapter 1 was to introduce the story, introduce the characters, introduce the ship.

My objective for Chapter 2 is to introduce Planet 542 - show us the world, show its inhabitants, how they see themselves, how they see the world around them. Show what all that is like before the unintentional interference from Dawn occurs.

Chapter 2 is also where I plan to introduce Dr. Tsui, and explore the interactions between the characters we've already met in Chapter 1.

Vacation calling

There's been a vacation calling me - it finally decided to leave a message. J and I are going to Sault Ste. Marie for a few days to ride on the Agawa Canyon tour train. We're going in July and we've already made our reservations. Woo-hoo!

It's nice to have a niece

I have a new niece! She was born last week, on June 16, 8.3 pounds, and a head full of black hair. Her birth date makes her a Gemini. This is what her horoscope read on her birth day:

You're quite the person about town, making the scene and having a boatload of fun. Those you leave in your wake are entirely impressed -- and, in some cases, entirely enamored.

J and I went to see her on the weekend. I got to hold her - I never held a three day old baby before!

My congratulations and blessings go out to her mom and dad, and to her sister and brother that preceeded her into this world.

I've got Reason, I've got rhythm

I had a chance to fiddle with Reason again the other night. I was trying to get a particular drum sound that I want to use in the intro of my song, Painted Smiles. In the end, I didn't end up with the sound I wanted - the one I hear inside my head.

I want to make a version of Painted Smiles using Reason. Doing so will give me an opportunity to get more experience with this product.

My next step is to learn how to record automation. Knowing how to do this means that when I want to change a song parameter, such as a note or volume or temp, I can record the parameter changes and the software will automatically apply the changes during playback.

Once I know how to do that, I can combine the three different note sequences that make up the intro to Painted Smiles.

Good time, not a lot of time

J and I have been going through a rough patch the last few weeks. J has commented that we haven't been spending much quality time together. I gess I've been feeling the same. Between our work stress, real estate stress, and just the general busy-ness of life, the quality of our relationship has suffered.

J's feeling that we don't spend enough time together has been a recurring theme in our relationship. Despite my attempts to make myself more available to her, I have finally come to the realization that I cannot give her any more time than I already am giving, not without compromising my integrity to my self. We are already spending lots of time together and I can not, will not, give more of my time to us.

What I can do however, is improve the quality of the time I spend with her. The issue here isn't about how much time we spend together, but about how we spend the together time we have.

Reason or excuses?

I have some left-brain activities I need to take care of. Checks to write, bills to pay, that sort of thing. I was going to do some of that tonight. I just couldn't make myself do it though.

My right-brain started clamoring for my attention. It wanted, it pleaded, it begged me to pay it some attention. So I fired up a piece of software I have, called Reason. Reason is a music-creation program with a really cool user interface. It resembles a hardware rack, like you might find in a studio, and provides various sound and effect generating components, just like their hardware counterparts.



I played around with it a bit tonight. I set up a funky groove based on a song I wrote, Painted Smiles, and got a pretty nice result. Fun, fun fun! Though I think J got bored because I kept playing the same loop over and over and over again and again.

I would like to do a full version based on the parameters that I set up tonight. Sigh. I think my life is terribly out of balance. Too much left-brain stuff to do, not enough time for the right-brain stuff.

My morning exercise routine

I have a morning exercise routine I have been following for the past few days. The routine consists of - roll over, stretch out my arm, hit the snooze button. Set of four repetitions.

Maybe I can make my own exercise video. Move over Jane Fonda.

Please feed the testers

A coupe of weeks ago when I was still assigned to test execution at work, I was in the test lab with the other testers. One of the environmental support guys came into the lab with a new guy he was training. I heard him say to the trainee, in a total deadpan, that they need to come in at nine o'clock every morning and take orders from the testers for coffee and donuts.

That gave me an idea - I took a piece of paper and with a highlighter I wrote, Please feed the testers, and I pinned it to the wall. When one of the other testers saw it, he said the sign needs to be bigger. So I took a larger sheet of paper and wrote the same thing and put it up. Meanwhile, the other tester got into the spirit - he made a third sign on his computer, complete with clip art.

Today, there are still three signs up in the test lab that say Please feed the testers, and one of the managers bought a box of donuts for us on the thirteenth floor as well as a box for the testers in the lab.

June bugs

I can't believe it's June already. It snuck up on me pretty fast. I got to work yesterday at 9:30, then realized I had a doctor's appointment at 12:45. I knew I had this appointment coming up in early June - I had made the appointment about two months ago. However, June 1 crept up on me so fast it caught me off guard.

We had a shift of direction at work last week. Some of us who had previously been doing test execution got pulled off in order to revise the test scripts. Some new resources (i.e. people) were added to continue the test execution. I'm finding that the experience I've gained from doing test execution for the last month and a half has given me new perspectives now that I am writing (or re-writing) scripts again. If I'd known when I first started this assignment, what I know now!

I expect to be on this assignment for another few weeks. The intensity at work is taking up a lot of my energy, so I'm noticing that my personal goals like my music, creative writing, are falling behind. I'm even having trouble keeping up with my blogging.

I think there's a vacation calling for me.

Fireplace costs

I finally got a chance to look into getting an electric fireplace (see Done Deal - basement tenant). I found out that a fireplace insert would cost $900 to $1000 depending on the size. There's no installation required - just slide the box into the opening. The price range is higher than I thought it would be. For that amount of money, I might as well get the brick wall fixed and use the existing gas fireplace. I'll get some quotes for the repair work and then decide which avenue to take.

Trilliums on the Bruce Trail

Last week was crappy, frustrating, upsetting, crazy, stinky, for various reasons, of which I won't go into in this blog. However, there were some positives - I did get some much needed time to myself on Saturday, in which I did some reading and some sketching. I made sketches of Arjay and Morgan, from Mission: Dawn, and I designed an insignia for the ship.

I also got out for some hiking with J and her mom on the Bruce Trail, out in the Beaver Valley section. I've missed being on the Bruce - it felt so good to get out there and stretch my legs on the trail! The weather was cool - great weather for hiking. White trilliums covered the ground in one of the areas we hiked through. I had my digital camera with me and took some pictures.

Done deal - basement tenant

It didn't take very long this time - I got a new tenant for the basement apartment. I got a call from my rental agent this morning. She's done a showing, the guy was interested, he signed up and she has collected the deposit. They should all be this easy.

I've learned that the fireplace in this unit is actually a key selling feature. That was useful for me to learn, because the fireplace doesn't actually work. I had it inspected last year, and the contractor told me it should not be used because there are holes in the brick wall that could allow carbon monoxide to enter the house. He recommended I have it looked at by a fireplace guy, but he thought it would be expensive to repair.

My rental agent has urged me to replace the existing gas fireplace with an electric fireplace. She thinks it may be cheaper than fixing the existing problem. I'll have to get a fireplace guy to look at it and give me an estimate before I decide which approach to take.

Baby shower, kittens, and karaoke

J's brother held a surprise baby shower for his wife yesterday. They're going to have another baby soon. That means another niece or nephew coming, maybe even a god-child! They had a barbecue celebration in their backyard.

Some of the kids that were present discovered that a cat had recently had kittens in a shed behind their garage. There were three or four little kitties, about a few weeks old. The mother cat, she had only one eye, was a little skittish, but a couple of the little ones came out to explore. They were so tiny, and furry, and excuse my masculinity for saying so but they were cute.

J, her mom and I were ready to leave her brother's place around ten o'clock. We made our rounds and said our goodbyes but her brother told us we had to make a stop in the basement. The three of us went downstairs and found a group of people doing karaoke. I took a turn with my favourite karaoke song, Let It Be. I encouraged J and her mom to take a turn at the mic but they wouldn't. Not at first. Later, after most of the other karaokers had left, they grew bolder and started singing one song after another. By 2:30 in the morning, I could barely pull those two away so we could go home!

From baby shower for a new baby, to new kittens in the shed, to J doing karaoke with her mom - the theme of motherhood was well represented and celebrated on this Mother's Day weekend.

Self-care, creative writing, and Mars-centricity

I did take a short break today and spent it on my creative writing. I took about twenty to thirty minutes, by myself, in an empty seating area near the lobby of the building I am working in.

I made some small revision to one of the scenes in Mission: Dawn, called Boy meets girl. This is the scene where I introduce the relationship between Arjay and Linda. I like the interplay between these two characters, that just came out when I wrote the scene. Now, when I wrote the original draft, I ended it with Arjay offering to send a shuttle to pick up Linda from Mars and bring her to Dawn. In my revision, I changed that slightly, to have Linda take a commercial passenger shuttle, called The Mars Runner, instead. This slight change allows me to add a bit to Linda's character - since she lives on Mars, she calls it The Earth Runner. I figured this addition would add a little bit of colour to Linda's character.

As I wrote the new dialog, I got to thinking that I could have fun with this in future scenes, by having Linda's "Mars-centricity" come up in humorous ways.

Self-care

One of the newsletters I subscribe to had an article about self-care. The article was titled Taking Care of Your Best Asset - here is an excerpt:

My first breakthrough in self-care was to get my front tooth fixed. I figured this was a highly irresponsible thing to do, given my credit card debts. Shortly thereafter I got a raise that more than covered the extra expense. Then I hired a personal trainer and a few months later got a bonus at work. Do I detect a pattern emerging? As I started taking better care of myself, so did the people around me. While I was regularly saving 10 percent of my earnings, paying off my debts, and doing things to perfect the present, more money started coming in from unexpected places. In three years I went from being in debt to having over a year’s living expenses in savings, and I didn’t suffer in the process.

This topic feels really pertinent to me right now, especially given the level of stress under which I am operating these days. So, I am going to undertake two self-care issues tomorrow.

One, I am going to park in a different parking lot when I go to work tomorrow than where I usually park. This has to do with an ongoing issue I have with this parking lot that I have not been able to resolve yet. I have several reasons why I prefer to park there, but I also get really frustrated and angry about this unresolved issue. Then I get hard on myself for getting so worked up about it.

One of the reasons I use this particular lot is because they accept payment by credit card through an automated system - no cash out of my pocket. I'm not familiar with the other parking lots in the area so I don't know if they would accept payment by credit card. However, as an act of self-compassion, I am going to try out one of the other lots, even if it means paying cash out of my own pocket. I need to give myself a break here and stop bringing myself into this environment where I am experiencing so much emotional distress - at least until I can get my anger under perspective.

As my second act of self-care, I am going to take a break during the work day tomorrow, go to an empty meeting room and just do some of my own writing.

Missed the stairs today

After three months of doing the stairs at work on a daily basis, I missed a day today. I usually do them near the end of the day. Today I left early though - if you call leaving at 5pm leaving early! I left early because I had an appointment with my accountant to go over my 2004 tax return. I had finally prepared all my documentation and delivered it to my accountant last week - one thing I can check off my list. He is going to e-file it for me and I need to go see him again next week to pick up my file.

Test execution continues at work. I have been operating at a high level of stress for about a month now, and it is getting to me. Now the client is asking us to work Saturdays as well.

On a positive note, a friend of mine recently "discovered" my blog and commended me for its attractive format, and wrote that I am an example to her for forever going after my conscious goals.

The seeds of a story - Mission: Dawn

I recently found something I wrote in one of my notebooks - my idea book. It was a note for a story idea and it was dated Tuesday September 30, 2003. This is what I had written:

A group of space explorers visit a newly discovered planet. They observe it from a distance, careful not to interfere with its cultures (along the lines of Starfleet Prime Directive, from Star Trek).

A team lands on the planet to observe. Inadvertantly they affect the local culture, who builds a religion around them. When it is time for the team to leave, several members remain behind to try to fix the damage, unobtrusively.

Wow, I hadn't realized that this idea went as far back as 2003.

I am pleased with what this idea has evolved into. Starting with just that idea, I now have a title, a setting, and an ensemble of characters who have names, history, and goals. I have written enough content to fill a chapter.

At the same time I am disheartened that this process is coming so slowly. I mean, after a year of writing, I am still working on the first chapter. At this pace it will take me a decade to finish.

The start of a journey

Several years ago, I'd say around 2001, I had a work assignment downtown, with the City. Sometimes as an escape, I would spend my lunch break at a nearby book store browsing through a novel. Typically I would pick up some Star Trek novel off the shelf and read a couple of pages, or chapters, before going back to the office.

One day as I was walking to the book store, I heard a voice in my head telling me Learn how rich people think. I poo-poohed the idea at first telling myself Why would I want to do that? Rich people are greedy, they are corrupt, they achieve their wealth by stepping on others. The voice persisted though, and told me Just go learn how rich people think; you don't have to become like them if you don't like what you learn.

So on that day, instead of taking my usual mental escape through a Star Trek novel, I picked up a book in the Rich Dad Poor Dad series, written by Robert Kiyosaki. Reading that book opened up my mind to new possibilities, and inspired me to begin my own journey towards financial independence.

Since then, my journey has led to some adventure, drama and excitement; it has also led me to stress, disappointment and discouragement. I have had some achievements of which I'm really proud, and I have had some experiences that I could have done without.

This journey is not over yet.

Test execution begins

Since I started my current work assignment back in February, the team I'm on has been writing test scripts in order to verify the quality of a system the client is developing. This week we have started a new stage, test execution. In this stage we run the scripts we have written to either validate that the system works or find and log defects so that they can be corrected. This stage is pretty intense and is keeping us all pretty busy.

Things are so busy now, I haven't completed my tax return yet. It looks like this weekend will be my last chance to work on it if I want to file it by the end of the month.

My basement tenant has responded to the updated lease I sent him a couple of weeks ago (See Rough week). He has decided not to renew the lease. His last day in the unit was supposed to have been the 15th - the weekend that just passed. At least this should remedy the noise complaints from the tenant that lives on the main level. Of course I now need to find a new tenant for the basement unit.

Discovering Lydian Mode

I was working on my melody for Chord Progression #7. This chord progression is: C G G D Dsus G G C Dsus D7 (see Songwriting Exercise). I had assumed the chord progression was in the key of C major, because it started with a C major chord. However, what really started throwing me off was the presence of the D major, D sus, and D7 chords. A D major chord has the notes D F# A, and there is no F# in the key of C major. Also, when I finished putting my melody into the sequencer software I use and played it back, it really felt like the ending should resolve to a G chord rather than to a C.

Then it occured to me that maybe the piece is using a different mode. I have only recently learned about modes. I had heard the term Dorian mode before but didn't know what it meant, so I looked it up in a dictionary a few weeks ago. The dictionary told me that a Dorian mode is a scale that uses only the white keys on a piano and starts on the note D. In other words, a mode is a scale that starts on a certain note (in this case, D), but uses the key signature of another scale (in this case C major). There is also a mode called Ionian mode, where the starting note and key signature are the same - this is the case for any major scale (for example, a scale that starts on C and uses the key signature of C).

With this thought in mind, I started wondering if this chord progression was written in another mode. With a little research, I discovered the Lydian mode. The C Lydian scale starts on C but has the key signature of G major - that is, an F#. That explains the D major chords.

Completed first draft of Arjay's Reversal

I've finally finished the scene Arjay's Reversal, which I've been working on for Mission: Dawn. The scene feels contrived, but I've spent enough time on it and want to move on.

I've written enough content now for an entire chapter; however, there are a few gaps which I think need to be filled. For example,

1. In the scene Drawing Out Crenshaw, Morgan recognizes that Crenshaw isn't being himself and attempts to draw him out - I should probably write an earlier scene which introduces Crenshaw and demonstrates his unusual behavior.
2. Need a scene that shows the crew's attempts to locate Dr. Kellog Chapman. Need this scene as a setup to the conversation Arjay has with the admiral in the scene Dr. who?
3. Show Linda and Green coming aboard Dawn. (When we first see them, Linda is on Mars and Green is on Space Station; yet later they both appear on Dawn with no explanation given.)
4. I've been wanting to write a scene called The Briefing, in which Arjay briefs his senior crew on their upcoming mission. Perhaps I can address the above points in this scene - then I won't have to write too many transitions.

J says that I am unfocused and try to do "everything all at once". I can see why she would think that - even my previous blog posts show me going from one topic one day, to another topic the next day, from music to creative writing to real estate. Well, that is actually how I like to work - it must be ingrained in my personality. I like to pick something up, work on it for a while, then put it down and work on something else for a while.

Songwriting exercise

I was in a bookstore a couple of weeks ago, and happened to be skimming through a few books on songwriting. One of them had an exercise that I thought would be useful to try. The book listed several chord progressions - the exercise is to write a melody for each progression. Just for the record, the progressions are:

1. Bb Fsus Cm7 Eb Bb Fsus Cm7 Eb
2. Eb Bb E/B Bb Cm Eb/Bb Bb Eb
3. Bb Gm7 F Eb Bb Gm7 F Bb
4. G D Em C C Am Bm Em - G D Em C - G Am Bm D G
5. G G/C D7 C D G C/G D7 G
6. F F Bb Bb F F/A Bb C
7. C G G D Dsus G G C Dsus D7
8. G C G/B D7 G C G/B Dsus Em C G
9. G C D7 D7 - G C D7 D7 Em C G
10. G C D7 D7 G C D7 D7 C D G
11. A A7 D A7 Bm7 G G D/F# A7

Given the context of the chapter, I wouldn't be surprised to find out that these progressions belong to songs I know. I don't recognize any of these progressions, but there's only a few songs that I would recognize on sight - most of them I'd have to hear.

I've started playing with Progression #7 on my keyboard, and it is suggesting a melody to me already.

Silly thought for the day

I can never remember if it's feed a cold - starve a fever, or starve a cold - feed a fever. My preference would be feed a cold - feed a fever. This could be a shibboleth for the underweight.